Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Zombie Apocalypse: trying to explain it to people that don't get it.

Trying to explain why it's fun to plan for the zombie apocalypse to a person that doesn't get it on their own is always frustrating.  Of COURSE it's awesome, how could you possibly not want it?  There's zombies!
The fact is, there's actually a few reasons a person might not think that the zombie apocalypse is sick awesome and totally worth having.  The reasons are all wrong, obviously, but still:  to understand these people, we should make a effort to understand their reasoning.
First of all, there's one central issue that zombie non-fans (nonzoms?) get their head stuck on.  Interestingly, they get caught on it in two completely seperate directions.  It's the 'apocalypse' part of zombie apocalypse.  The fact that society is falling apart around you.  Some nonzoms don't like the idea of everything colapsing and having to fight for their survival, and very likely losing everyone they've ever loved.  Others have an issue with the idea of slow shambling dead people somehow ending civilization... honestly... just shoot them, turn the power back on, and go back to watching doctor who.
Basically, the problem here is that there's no clearly consistent understanding of the danger involved in your average zombie apocalypse.  You can't really blame the nonzoms for this, we haven't made it easy.  Romero shamblers, Danny Boyle's high-speed rage-runners, Milla Jovovich's kung-fu cgi abominations... the threat level seems wildly in consistent.  If you find yourself trying to convince someone that a zombie apocalypse is either a) not so horrible that it wouldn't be awesome, or b) not so boring that it wouldn't be awesome, the central point that you should focus on is this:
Zombie apocalypses, reguardless of type, share one key feature:  they wipe out civilization, but you survive.  You always survive, because that's the POINT.  It's crazy hard, but you're pushed to new limits, discovering things about yourself you never thought possible.  The whole zombie thing is cool, it gives you a target, something external that forces you to scrounge for ammo and carry a katana, but ultimately, it's about survival.  Which is always cool.
So what about the nonzoms that are turned off by the idea of having to put down zombified versions of their friends & loved ones?  Well, yea, they're right, that sucks.  It's a great metaphor for a lot of... you know, stuff... but to actually do it?  Awful.
But this whole apocalypse thing would be nothing if there wasn't some awful stuff going down.  The idea that you're suddenly living in a dark, intense hero-forge is part of the appeal.  They say that part of the hero's journey is to destroy the things that made him, to cut his roots and free himself.  So yea, having to shoot your homecoming date is really going to blow, but you get to go on to club dozens of undead with a claw hammer.
Then, of course, there's the folks that just can't understand that we're just TALKING, here.  The same folks that accuse fantasy football players of diluting themselves into believing that they're actually playing football, or that think that dungeons and dragons is actually going to promote satanism.  I'd advise that, once you realize you're talking to one of them, you just back away slowly.

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