Thursday, September 15, 2011

If I wrote the Avengers, or 'learning to write html from my phone'

First of all, let me give you a little heads-up. I'm a nerd. Not just a 'enjoys video games & watches fringe' nerd, but a 'memorized every episode of star trek & will try to engage strangers in conversations about early Fantastic Four' nerd. It's a tough cross to bear, but honestly, I think I make it look pretty good.
I'm saying so because I know how weird this is going to seem to readers that AREN'T colossal nerds. When you read comics, one of the coolest things is which characters turn up in different books with each other. Sure, seeing the different powers layer together in new and interesting ways is cool, but it's even cooler to see how their relationships evolve over time. When a new series begins, like the upcoming x-men: regenisis, you get this awesome reshuffling of members, with new characters joining different teams, all with promises of new conflicts and relationships and coolness. Sometimes, the new lineup is really cool, but the characters don't quite feel right within the context of that particular superhero team... like, top of my head, congorilla on the justice league. So, you wind up with this cool tightrope walk, trying to put together a lineup that is original and unexpected, but still feels like the team we wanted to read about in the first place.
Which leads, inevitably, to this classic question between nerds; if YOU were going to write (whichever comic), what would YOUR lineup be? I, of course, have my own lineup ideas for different superhero teams, usually after a long chat with my nerd-in-arms, Joel. They change over time, obviously, because the circumstances in the world of comics are constantly changing. Jean Grey used to be a shoo-in for everyone's x-men lineup, even when she was dead half the time.
All that explanation aside... here's my Avengers lineup... the team I'd put together if I was writing the book. It's a 10 person team, with the five classic characters that I think you just have to have to make it an Avengers team, and five that are either more obscure Avengers, or totally new to the team.
You'd want to begin with the big three, because it just isn't the Avengers otherwise.
Captain America
I love that I don't have to explain this guy anymore. Everybody knows who he is. He doesn't put the team together, but it doesn't matter, he's still in charge. Without him in front of the team, it just doesn't work.
Iron Man
Watching them try to reintegrate iron man into the superhero community after civil war has been fun, but the fact is, I LIKE that no one trusts him anymore. When he offers to fund the Avengers, he has to WORK to get them to let him work alongside him.
Thor
It's cool to not have to worry about power: once thor is on the team, you've got all the power you can handle. The sheer alpha-ness of this guy means that you ALWAYS miss him when he's gone.
Once you have the big three in place, most of your bases are covered. Not all the other classic Avengers are exactly necessary at that point, but I think every fan has a couple that they think are vital.
Wasp
Wasp may not be the most powerful Avenger, but she's definitely one of their key members. She's a born hero, someone who takes powers that don't seem that useful (certain other characters have the same powers, and they suck) and uses them to such great effect that she could honestly lead the team.
Hawkeye
Every superhero team needs the one guy who just doesn't give a %$*#, and NOBODY is better at being that guy than Hawkeye. It's vital to have the one guy that will tell it like it is, who will say something when the team leader is being a tool. Hawkeye's powers, let's face it, are pretty obviously useless, but it's never been about needing an archer on the team. It's about needing Hawkeye.
So, classic team members out of the way, we start picking out a few more obscure avengers that will start to make this particular lineup unique, both in the powers available, and in the personalities.
Tigra
Tigra's usefulness is largely in her stealth capabilities... I love the idea of her being able to sneak all cat-like into enemy territory and start sabatoging stuff :) even more so, though... you get a catgirl in a bikini hanging out in avengers mansion... hitting on pizza delivery guys and getting hairballs in the pool filter. Awesome.
Machine Man
Fellow nerds are adamant that superhero teams need a comic relief guy; usually a stretchy guy like plastic man. I'm not completely convinced, but with Machine Man in that role, it suddenly becomes awesome. He's stretchy, but he also has buzz saws in his chest, can produce flame-throwers, and his comedy stylings are very Bender-ish. He's definately powerful, and he'll call people fleshbags. Love it.
Invisible Woman
Sue Storm has been an Avenger before, but only along with the rest of the Fantastic Four. Her inclusion in this iteration hangs on an entirely seperate fact: the Fantastic Four needs to break up. Reed is a colossal tool, and a horrible husband. Sue needs to realize how much she's sacrificed for a man that doesn't love her, and break away, become her own woman... which will be awesome, because she's an AMAZING superhero just waiting to happen. You know what power the Avengers could use? Someone that makes constructs, a-la green lantern. She should break away and step up her game, get a new costume and join the varsity team.
The last couple of Avengers are totally new, which is always a halmark of a decent Avengers writer, like geoff johns's adding Firestar & Justice, or Bendis adding Luke Cage, Spider-man, Sentry, Wolverine, Spider-woman, (damn, bendis...) but I always thought they'd be perfect Avengers if they were fit into the team correctly:
Cable
Cable can really suck when he's not written JUST right, but honestly, he's born to be an Avenger. His personality would fit so awesomely into the Cap, Iron Man, Thor dynamic... he'd bond so thouroughly with Cap, it's amazing this hasn't happened yet. The technology and resources he brings are overwhelming, and his capability as a warrior makes him just a fantastic addition to the team.
Plus, he's a solid mentor to the last new team member. It's always important to have one total newbie, someone who will be the audiences window into all the fantastic goings-on.
Blink
Everyone. Loves. Blink. They've needed to get her into the mainstream 616 universe forever... I understand they're starting to find a way to do it by bringing back the original character that died in generation x as a temporary villian... I don't know, you could just as easily end exiles and dump all the characters, dead or not, into their home dimensions, but send her to the 616 because she doesn't fit into the new AoA timeline. Or whatever, I don't care HOW you do it... she needs to be brought in. And the X-men are BRIMMING with young cute inguine mutants to sidekick with wolverine; kitty, jubilee, armor, pixie, x-23... put her somewhere where she MATTERS.
And that would be my Avengers. I'm sure it's bound to change; the fact that cable appears to be murdering the entire Avengers line-up come december's avengers: x-sanction might hurt my chances of seeing this come true. But then I'll just build a new lineup... because that's the point. This stuff is fun to think about!

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