Watching lousy action movies that joyfully relish their own badness is not for everyone. It's very easy to do ironically... in a pabst-blue-ribbon/skinny-jeans way, and no one wants to be that guy. Alternatively, you don't want to be the sort that deliberately loves these movies, either. They have special buses for honest-to-god american ninja fans.
So why watch them at all? Because they're actually fun. You can't let yourself be aware of the badness, but rather let it melt your adult movie-watching sensibilities into a sort of cozy chilled pudding, and then let the ten year old in you, the kid that loves watching jeff speakman hit ninjas with escrima sticks, geek out at the sheer awesomeness of the fictional world the movie is utterly failing to depict.
I say all this, because I just watched road house. I need to explain why, when I talk about the shortcomings of the movie, you know why I'm not addressing it's obvious badness. What I'm talking about here is the pitfalls in the story it's TRYING to tell.
My biggest thing is that the movie's central premise, the craziness of the double deuce, is resolved halfway through the movie. Once Dalton cleans up the Deuce, all the conflict is suddenly outside the bar. There's... a bad guy? Who... runs extortion? He owns a monster truck? Honestly, I wasn't paying attention.
So let's focus more on the deuce... give it more character, more backstory. Why is it all so messed up? Did the local industry grind to a stop when the mill closed, and now organized crime is moving in? Maybe the local dealers are muscling out the last of the old family-owned businesses, extorting protection from them while the nightly drug & impotent jobless rage-fueled brawls are making it impossible for them to stay open. So what do they do? They need a bouncer... someone with nothing to lose...
This is the other problem with the original. Patrick Swayze is capable of being really cool; what was that post-apocalyptic martial arts movie he did with the guy that played the general in the fifth element? Anyway... Dalton is a cool guy, no denying, but he's so COOL, it's like he's floating above everything. He doesn't become emotionally involved in the Deuce... only in the conflict at the end when the bad guy burns down Red's place and a room full of old men are afraid to fight him... or something.
Dalton's conflict should be in the bar... it's supposed to be what this movie is about. I think the mistake is the whole notion of him being this epic, legendary bouncer. Couldn't we do more with that? What if he was a promising mixed martial artist that lost his shot because of an injury, and then lost his job when the mill closed down? Maybe he had hit rock bottom and was working as debt collector for the mob when a cousin or high school sweetheart or something aproaches him to help the bar. It becomes about standing up for yourself.
See? Doesn't that sound like a good movie? They could totally do that remake! How about it, hollywood? A remake we can enjoy? Fright night is awefully lonely.
So why watch them at all? Because they're actually fun. You can't let yourself be aware of the badness, but rather let it melt your adult movie-watching sensibilities into a sort of cozy chilled pudding, and then let the ten year old in you, the kid that loves watching jeff speakman hit ninjas with escrima sticks, geek out at the sheer awesomeness of the fictional world the movie is utterly failing to depict.
I say all this, because I just watched road house. I need to explain why, when I talk about the shortcomings of the movie, you know why I'm not addressing it's obvious badness. What I'm talking about here is the pitfalls in the story it's TRYING to tell.
My biggest thing is that the movie's central premise, the craziness of the double deuce, is resolved halfway through the movie. Once Dalton cleans up the Deuce, all the conflict is suddenly outside the bar. There's... a bad guy? Who... runs extortion? He owns a monster truck? Honestly, I wasn't paying attention.
So let's focus more on the deuce... give it more character, more backstory. Why is it all so messed up? Did the local industry grind to a stop when the mill closed, and now organized crime is moving in? Maybe the local dealers are muscling out the last of the old family-owned businesses, extorting protection from them while the nightly drug & impotent jobless rage-fueled brawls are making it impossible for them to stay open. So what do they do? They need a bouncer... someone with nothing to lose...
This is the other problem with the original. Patrick Swayze is capable of being really cool; what was that post-apocalyptic martial arts movie he did with the guy that played the general in the fifth element? Anyway... Dalton is a cool guy, no denying, but he's so COOL, it's like he's floating above everything. He doesn't become emotionally involved in the Deuce... only in the conflict at the end when the bad guy burns down Red's place and a room full of old men are afraid to fight him... or something.
Dalton's conflict should be in the bar... it's supposed to be what this movie is about. I think the mistake is the whole notion of him being this epic, legendary bouncer. Couldn't we do more with that? What if he was a promising mixed martial artist that lost his shot because of an injury, and then lost his job when the mill closed down? Maybe he had hit rock bottom and was working as debt collector for the mob when a cousin or high school sweetheart or something aproaches him to help the bar. It becomes about standing up for yourself.
See? Doesn't that sound like a good movie? They could totally do that remake! How about it, hollywood? A remake we can enjoy? Fright night is awefully lonely.
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