A Real-Life Electric Mayhem

If you were to have to pick one band in the entire history of music to call the greatest band of all time, it would do little more than start a sizable argument.  No one band can be all things to all people.

Except that's not true at all.  There is one band.  the greatest band of all time. 

Doctor Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. 

 

If there's any one downside to the Mayhem, it would be the fact that they aren't actual people.  This particular combination of talent and musical style creates an absolutely epic, universally loved sound, but its kind of hard to put together a tour when all the members of the band don't have legs.

But what if we could somehow make a real life Electric Mayhem?  Could you find just the right combination of musicians, from the whole of musical history, to give the world our very own Greastest Band of All Time?  Let's take a stab at it! 

Dr. Teeth

 

 The leader of the Electric Mayhem, Dr. Teeth is a bombastic, flamboyant piano legend that plays the electric organ, and who can somehow manage to turn any song into a rock anthem.

Real Life Dr. Teeth: Dr. John

This is the easiest leap to make: Dr. Teeth is based on Dr. John, the legendary king of blues, jazz, and zydeco infused boogie woogie, which is basically the meat in the Electric Mayhem sandwich.  Dr. Teeth's stage costumes are based heavily on Elton John's early peacock & giant glasses ensembles; but musically, he's all Dr. John.

Janice

Janice is sunny, sexy lead guitarist of the Electric Mayhem.  She sings backup and often takes lead, and her airy, California look belies her ability to absolutely shred.

Real Life Janice: Grace Potter



















The leader of the popular festival rock band Grace Potter & The Nocturnals, Grace is a brilliant songwriter, a fantastic guitarist and piano player, and has a voice that is at once beautiful and full of funk, but more than anything else, she is an absolutely world-class frontperson.  Everything about the Nocturnals is infused with her incredibly soulful, deep-from-the-belly-of-rock sound.  The fact that she happens to be a beautiful blonde certainly doesn't HURT, but it's her incredible talent and luminous stage presence that makes her our girl.

Floyd Pepper













Floyd is that bassist for the Electric Mayhem, and while he's an old blues guy deep in his heart, he throws down with his bass, keeping up with the fastest and most talented musicians in the world.  His gravely voice is often singing backup for the Mayhem, but he'll also sometime take lead when the song requires someone with a little more soul.

Real Life Floyd Pepper: Lemmy Kilmister













Anyone that makes a list of the best bassists of all time that doesn't end with Lemmy is out of their mind.  The leader of Motörhead, his gravely voice and downright explosive bass helped pave the way for the second British invasion, and inspired an entire generation of thrash metal musicians.  While Floyd and Lemmy might have a different playing style (Floyd tends to err on a more bluesy sound, while Lemmy prefers something more akin to a runaway freight train) the consummate musicianship and talent more that make up for the subtle difference between them.

Zoot

The super laid-back saxophonist for the Mayhem, Zoot is a committed, working musician, never all that interested in the spotlight, just content to jam out and play some righteous tunes.   His distinct sound is part of what makes the Electric Mayhem so unique.

Real Life Zoot: Alto Reed

While Clarence Clemons of Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band might be the more easily recognizable rock band sax player, for my money there's no single saxophonist that rocks quite so hard without getting recognition as Alto Reed.  A long time member of Bon Seager's Silver Bullet Band, Alto played the legendary riff that begins the song "Turn the Page", as well as the solo in "Old Time Rock & Roll".  He's also played with George Thorogood, Grand Funk Railroad, Foghat and the goddamn Blues Brothers.  This is a guy with Rock & Blues pumping through him instead of blood.  Just like Zoot, he's not looking for the spotlight... he's just here to jam.

Animal

Easily the heart and soul of the Mayhem, Animal is their completely and quite literally feral drummer.  He might be a little hard to keep contained (he has to be kept on a chain while they're not playing), His intense love for his drums and unbridled ferocity while playing makes him an absolute icon on the instrument.

Real Life Animal:  Keith Moon












Widely considered one of the two or three greatest drummers of all time, Keith Moon was the legendary drummer for The Who until his untimely death in 1978.  His completely wild style of drumming was a cornerstone of one of the best bands of the British invasion.  He would detonate his drums during performances, hurl TV's out of hotel windows... I wouldn't be surprised if Animal & Keith Moon hung out as kids.

Lips

Lips was the trumpet player in the Muppet Show Orchestra, alongside the members of the Electric Mayhem.  After several years of jamming with them, he started to join the Mayhem onstage. While he has some blues experience, he differs from the other musicians in the Mayhem in that his experience is more in big brass bands and less in rock & roll.

Real Life Lips: Herb Albert

The founder of Herb Albert's Tijuana Brass Band, the group responsible for bringing a lively, world-music sound to the big brass revue.  They were one of the highest-paid performing acts in the mid-sixties, and went on to earn dozens of Gold & Platinum records as well as eight grammies.  While Herb is clearly a big brass player of the highest order, he's also a very successful expressionist painter & sculptor.  His willingness to branch into other arts and his cutting edge approach to the big brass sound make him an ideal choice to be the Mayhem's resident big brass player.

Rowlf the Dog

While Rowlf was never a member of the Mayhem, and never performed as part of the group, he was a very good friend of the band, and played a lot of the same shows, usually performing alone with his piano, interspersing his music with clever anecdotes and quick one-liner jokes. 

Real Life Rowlf the Dog: Zach Galifianakis

Depending on who you ask, Zach Galifianakis is either a fantastic comedian or just a descent one, but setting that aside, he's always played piano during his act, spouting out surreal half-jokes.  If the Mayhem are going to have an opening act like Rowlf, Zach might just be the absolute best choice. 

And that's my attempt to create a real-life Electric Mayhem. it actually turned out better that I had imagined; this particular combination of artists might actually be able to turn out music on par with the greatest band of all time.  What do you think?